The end of a decade. I keep seeing posts of folks reflecting on the beginning through the end of the last 10 years. Featuring the highlights and cheering to the years ahead. Why not jump on this train? I think, maybe an appropriate time as ever to publicly reflect. For all of us reaching the height of our twenties, the past 10 years may be our most transformative of our entire lives. I would like to recognize that by diving a little deeper into how those years have shaped me. The highs and the lows, good memories and failed relationships – mistakes and successes. All as I have come to remember them. In these final hours of 2019, lets take a journey down memory lane.

The Highschool Years (2009): 16 years old. Junior. Few things happened this year that has made it quite memorable. Summer ’09 I got to go on a badass trip abroad to Mexico with folks from my Spanish class. It was a transformative experience on immersion, and I gained a whole new appreciation and interest in the language. This is the year I discovered how to sell my services and make my own money. Long before the “gig economy” or everyone had “side-hustles” I knew I didn’t want to solely depend on a paycheck. In fact, to be honest, I knew I could earn more than minimum wage. Junior year I also started attending the dual enrollment program with Saint Bonaventure University – funny thing there was that I wasn’t entirely planning on doing it and a certain someone filled out an application on my behalf. AP Psych that year was good. In October I met someone special and December 4^th we started dating. Seriously one of the most nervous nights of my young life at the time but a solid decision. I remember trying to work up the courage for like a week – feelings.

2010: So I guess this is technically the start of the last decade – though there is hardly much I remember from this particular year. My friends (mostly) graduated. That was challenging for me. Fortunately, because of the dual enrollment program, I only had one class at the high school my senior year. Most days I was waking up around 10am. That was nice. I also remember walking into class at SBU late on multiple occasions. I spent a lot of Fridays and “extended weekends” in Clarion. The drives down there were not bad at all, in fact I realized I could leave after SBU class and arrive before class was out at the high school. Many rides down there listening to ‘Jane Eyre’ and ‘Dracula’ on audio for my Brit-lit- class. It’s stupid, but still makes me smile. Those were some good drives. I quit basketball my senior year. It’s about the only thing I have ever just up and quit in my entire life. Team dynamics were partially the issue, but not nearly as much as I made them out to be. Really the motivation came from recognizing I would lose my Friday nights and weekends – I had really gotten used to spending those elsewhere.

2011: I think this is the year I would point to when I think about when I really started thinking about growing up and being on my own. For a couple years at this point I had something good and I wasn’t alone. I had been used to being alone – I knew how that felt and didn’t want those feelings to return. I was also spiteful of the words others has spoken to me. My relationship would not last. I would be alone. At the time I pretended that those words did not affect me, but I was very scared of losing the bit of happiness I had found. The other force at play during this time was the big question mark on life. I’d say this is the first crossroads I had found myself at where I hadn’t defined what to do. College was the obvious – and only answer – but how was this decision going to impact everything else in my life at this time. For me, meeting people isn’t difficult, but losing people is devastating – so I followed what was safe and familiar and landed in Clarion for college.

The College Years (2011-2014): Looking back, I still have a fondness for Clarion and have been fortunate enough to be invited back on several occasions and maintain some friendships with former professors and faculty. During my time as an undergrad I was heavily involved in campus activities and media. I helped kick off the production house which still exists on campus. In fact, they still run my promo vid across campus to this day. I met some awesome people. Several of which I don’t talk with much anymore, which is saddening.

Most of what I have taken away from my time at Clarion grew out of being ‘on my own’ and having someone to grow with. I never really lived a day alone through college. Having someone share in those experiences meant a lot to me. Negatively, it was a dependency. Arguably these were some formative years – figuring out my identity – learning who I am as a person – but what I knew was who I was in this relationship. I think that its important to recognize that now.

So what other exciting things happened over these years? I continued picking up contracting work and got to work with lots of shady people – haha. A few not so shady as well but starting out in the early days was filled with a lot of cold emailing and responding to internet posts. Nevertheless – I was earning enough to pay for living expenses and extracurricular activities through school. I interviewed with Google for a dev position out in Mountain View. First few rounds went well, but it ended in a fireball. That said, it was a transformative experience. It greatly impacted how I approach interviewing and teaching in this field. Some friends and I started a business venture together. We would get to work with some awesome and talented people. But at the time it was pretty run and gun and on a whim. I turned 21 and spent it with these friends – it was way better than getting trashed at some local bar. I suppose some other typical memorable moments for me where all nighters to write term papers, then getting the gf to drop me off right in front of class because I wouldn’t’ have time to walk. Sleeping through half a final and coming in when everyone else was practically finished and getting the stink eye from the processor. That time I slept through my stats final and took a 0. Still passed though. All the help the gf provided to get me through abnormal psych and oceanography. Training rats to run mazes and jump chairs. That experience I still talk about. I think my solution was pretty clever. Filming ALF and shooting the Thriller music video. The more I sit here and think, the more stuff comes back to me. Endless feels. I graduated in spring 2014, in 3 years with 2 degrees, 3 declared minors and roughly 160 credit hours. Insane. Crazy. Almost completely worthless education wise, but a meaningful part of my growth.

Moving north to Erie (2014): After graduation and a subsequent short summer, we packed up and moved north to Erie. I was convinced I needed a ‘real’ job and found a big-boy job downtown. Not the best decision I would come to find out, but it officially marked the start of my ‘career’ – which had really started over five years prior. All too soon after the move, life went sideways and I was faced with reality. It was a dark time feeling very alone in a new place, on my own – it was the pinnacle of what I was terrified. Mostly stripped of the identity I knew. Finally forced toward learning to grow up on my own. Somehow, I managed to keep my job. Clinging onto this one thing – the only thing I knew in this unfamiliar world I found myself in. Weekends were tough so I started spending them in clarion and working on the business we continued to build there.

2015: Still spending nearly every weekend at the studio. In June we went on tour in Florida. I’m still managing to work for the same agency downtown. I got involved with the local developer group. I decided that 1) I was going to throw myself into work and 2) I was going to be known and involved throughout the city. I gave myself 3-5 years to figure out my next step. In late 2015 we had the opportunity to move the studio to a larger, bit more professional spot in DuBois, PA so we did that.

2016: This is where I start to feel like I hopped in a time machine and raced forward. I hardly have recollection of events in 2016. I had my first experience quitting a job. I left the downtown agency for a fully remote position. Going into an office never suited me and I quickly found familiar territory when I was back to solely ‘working from home’. Like I alluded earlier, all that contracting before and during college sort of spoiled me. This year I also started getting involved in STEM education and teaching code. This is something I have really come to enjoy, and it laid the groundwork for things I am still doing today. I also was invited back to Clarion to speak as an alumnus.

2017: More speaking engagements, more teaching, continuing to work full time remote and contract. I think this is when ‘side-hustling’ became more popular and more and more people started calling themselves ‘entrepreneurs’ or ‘self-employed’. Not to sir things up, but if you aren’t paying self-employment taxes then it’s hard for me to entertain those assertions. Nevertheless, I found myself part of a trend. None of that was the highlight of the year though. 2017 was all about finding property to buy. Why? Just cause I could and wanted to. But it needed to be the right place. I spent some time at first looking at commercial places. Then I pivoted to duplexes, but ultimately decided for #1 investment property would just be something moderately cheap that I could throw 10-15k into then rent out. By the end of the year, I had an accepted offer. I wasn’t in much of a hurry – I wanted to be patient and take my time. Though the biggest issue I had was finding a reliable agent. Not sure if they didn’t take me seriously or what, but I went through agents like very other day. I’d find properties and just send them a list saying, “how many of these can you get me into?”

Growth(2018): I was chairing Professional & Leadership Development for the Young Erie Professionals, spending more time in classrooms helping kids with financial literacy, building growth mindsets and learning code. I spoke at the mayor’s morning press conference about entrepreneurship, spent a week in Savannah, GA and picked up some more long-term contracting teaching web development. In July I went an saw Kesha and Macklemore in concert up at Darien Lake. November, I started looking for a change of pace for work. Seemed pretty standard to spend a couple years somewhere then move along. I traveled to NYC for an onsite and got stranded in Philly’s train station on the way back due to weather. Ended up spending the night at the station and cruised around Philly in the am searching for a way out.

2018 was a year of work and projects. A year full of stress. A year where I couldn’t seem to fulfill a hunger of doming something. I got involved in several projects, demoed them to a lot of people. Unfortunately, I really got burnt out and crushed under things to do. I wasn’t taking good care of my health and had even ended up in the emergency room. For me to voluntarily walk into a hospital you know it wasn’t good. The job had me running development of a brand-new product which I dumped thousands of hours into over the course of the entire year. The year was mentally exhausting. I wanted to find a healthier balance and start making moves toward getting back in shape. I would say by this time I was finally coming around to ‘adulting’ on my own. I still didn’t own any furniture in my house, or a bed, but I was figuring out who I was, what was important to me, and finally figuring out how I could make it all happen. Slowly healing but moving in a positive direction.

Finally on my way (2019): Here we are. And in just an hour there it will go. So what happened this year? I continued interviewing with companies from all over. Seriously probably no less than fifty places by mid-year. I was being very particular. I even turned down an offer from Nike. Having all these companies cover my expenses to interview onsite was pretty cool and spurred an interest in traveling more for myself. The month of July I had the opportunity to work with students through the Upward Bound program out at Penn State Behrend. That was awesome. August came around and I had an opportunity to adjunct teach at Mercyhurst Northeast. Adjusting is something I have wanted to do and would love the opportunity to do it again! September, I took 10 days and drove to Myrtle Beach, SC. I spent time in Roanoke, VA and caught up with and old friend. That whole trip was amazing. October, I started a new job. November, I was asked to participate in helping develop new curriculum at Erie Technical School by way of their DACUM process. December, well here we are. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on these last years – who I am now and how I have grown and created a life for myself. Without a doubt I am in a fortunate and sort of privileged position. But I am still hungry. I want more. I know I can do more. Yes, it would be a very easy life to just coast from this point forward. But this whole concept is something I have been struggling with this month particularly as I reflect on the past decade. Although I don’t want to take it for granted, nothing came overnight. This decade has led me to a ‘comfortable’ lifestyle by way of consistent learning and pushing myself and making smart decisions, knowing my worth, and not settling for less than I want. I think that gives me some leeway to want more because I am willing to go make that happen.

The Future (2020): I kick off the new year with a trip to New Orleans. I have never been before. The special part is that it’s a nice full circle from the Mexico trip back in summer ’09. This year is going to be about execution. I want to launch a product. I want to build something and send it into the world. That is my main goal for this year. I want to continue to travel. I’m working my way up to taking trips abroad. Which means at some point I should start learning more than just Spanish. I want to continue the healthier lifestyle. I want to get back to creating content, which I have slowly been building up to. I want to find happiness and continue figuring out who I am and surround myself with awesome people.

Happy New Year!